Fears

Sorry I’ve been away.

I may have been bordering on an unhealthy addiction to reading romance novels last week. I needed something to refocus my attention and I found myself lost in love stories where the man does everything to make the woman feel like she is the center of his world.

My husband and I were fighting too much about our future work and financial security and it’s been scary. I have been praying with my husband and son and asking God to help us see where to go from here. I’ve got a lead on a job that is currently conducting a thorough background/reference check before extending an offer of employment.

I’m still scared of a new job. I’m scared of all the unknown factors…the people I will meet…the work I will have to do. This job will pay more than any job I’ve had before and that should be enough to alleviate the fears right?

I’ve found new fears about my potential employment that I hadn’t considered in the past…

I’ve grown so close to God through the past year. I still have a lot of growing to do but I have made great strides. Which is why I’m scared. New employment threatens my ability to be able to regularly attend church…a place where I have felt renewal on a weekly basis and have found likeminded people to connect with and who help me in my Christian growth.

I found a new counselor last week and I think she’s going to be great for me. I’m afraid of a work schedule that won’t be compatible with her hours.

Should I get this job and have a schedule that is opposite my husband’s…I fear that we may grow apart. I also fear that my son will be impacted by not having us both around at some point during his day.

This job is one that is likely to come with its own set of baggage. I will be dealing with very stressful emergency situations that may even be a trigger at some point for me. I’m afraid I won’t be able to handle it in the end.

One of my biggest fears is that I wont get a job offer from this or any other company and I’ll have a new list of fears to maneuver.

Prayers are always appreciated. Suggestions are helpful. Your support means everything!